I’d Tell You I Love You…

“Everything in that room is beautiful and refined and reminds us that we don’t just have to be spies — we have to be ladies.”  — I’d Tell You I Love You, But Then I’d Have to Kill You (Gallagher Girls Series, Book 1) by Ally Carter

Story of my life.  Everything around me is beautiful and refined, and I struggle to feel and behave like a lady.  I hate sitting with my legs crossed.  Thunder thighs don’t help much there.  I hate high heeled shoes.  This is better phrased by “I hate shoes.”  I feel funny dressed up and honestly rarely have a good reason to dress up anyways.

I’m expected to be a lady.  I try to be around strangers, but once you break through one of my barriers, you get to see the crude humor, sarcastic wit, often pessimistic view of the world me.  I’m not sure how I’m going to raise my daughters to be ladies when even I find the thought depressing, stiffling, and “un-fun”.  Yet, I’ll train them in the art of “ladyness”, or at least in the art of “faking ladyness”, because that is what women do.  Well, that and spy, gossip, etc.  Oh wait…

I decided to listen to I’d Tell You I Love You, But Then I’d Have to Kill You (Gallagher Girls Series, Book 1) after 3 serious, heart-heavy audio books.  About three-fourths of the way through it, I had the thought of I was listening to a spy version of Cluess meets Mean Girls.  Once the thought was planted, it refused to go away.  Despite that nagging thought, it was a good, light-hearted “read” that was needed after the previous audiobooks.

What girl doesn’t spy?  What girl doesn’t try to break the “bro code”?  Heck, I’m in my 30s and I still do both.  I’m a woman and I’m nosy.  I’ve been told those two facts go hand in hand.  All I missed out of this was going to a secret spy school for girls.  Drats, that would have been fun.

I enjoyed this book.  It’s not one I’d seek out to read now that I’ve listened to it, but it is one I enjoyed and would read if it magically feel in my lap or on my iPhone.  It made the day enjoyable as I issued email after email.  I think “tweens” would enjoy this book, and for that reason alone, I’m glad I listened.  It has boys, mystery, and girls kicking butt.  What tween girl wouldn’t love this!

I’d tell you more, but then I’d have to kill you.  😉


I’d Tell You I Love You, But Then I’d Have to Kill You (Gallagher Girl Series, Book 1) by Ally Carter
Narrator: Renee Raudman
Format: MP3 Audiobook
Publisher: Brilliance Audio
Source: Audiobook Sync
6 parts, 29 chapters
6 hours 51 minutes 6 seconds


Forgive Me

“You have no idea how many interesting people you’ll meet after high school’s over.  Your life partner, your best friend, the most wonderful person you’ll ever know is sitting in some high school right now waiting to graduate and walk into your life–maybe even feeling all the same things are you, maybe even wondering about you, hoping you’re strong enough to make it to the future where you’ll meet.”  from Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock by Matthew Quick


I wasn’t sure when I started this audiobook that I should be listening to it at the time.  Between stress at work, stress over home selling, stress over temporary living situations, stress over trying to buy a house that I think is the best combination of mine and my husband’s personalities we will ever find, stress over needing to introvert but can’t, stress over how to avoid having a panic attack, etc.  You get the idea.  I’m stressed.  Thus, listening to a book about teenage suicidal thoughts might not have been in my best interests, or was it?

In my defense, I forgot was the book was about and just picked an audiobook to listen to and get off my computer.  So, lesson one, since this is a reoccurring theme, maybe I should look up the summary of the audiobook to know what I’m getting into first.  Nah, what’s the fun in that?

Leonard Peacock, or LP as you hear throughout the book, is an outcast, much like any teenager feels, except there’s “more”.  You know he wants to murder Asher, his former friend, but you don’t realize why until later in the book.  As the pieces start falling into place, you are torn between feeling betrayed as Leonard or hurt for Asher and Leonard.  You wonder how you can save them both.  You are screaming for help for both in your head, reeling from Leonard’s pain.  You are applauding those that come to help.  You admire those who stand their ground. 

And you want to slap the shit out of those who don’t notice when they should.  You want to make them SEE, but you can’t.  You wonder if they will ever learn.

Suicidal thoughts are not to be taken lightly.  The quote above can apply to any situation and clique: high school, job 1, job 2, church, etc.  There is always hope, always something better.  Yet so many people just give up.  Their better day could have been right around the corner, but we didn’t see the signs in time.  Will we ever learn?

Forgive me, Leonard Peacock by Matthew Quick left me with plenty to ponder.  It is not a feel good book, but it is a good book that leaves you thinking, feeling, deciding.  Read it for yourself, for your friends, for your family.  Just read it.

If you or anyone you know is dealing with suicidal thoughts, please reach out for help.  You are loved and cherished more than you know. It will get better one day.  http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock by Matthew Quick
Narrator: Noah Galvin
Publisher: Hachette Audio
Source: Audiobook Sync
Format: MP3 Audiobook
6 hours 19 minutes 8 seconds
6 parts, 38 chapters


Jerkness is not based on sexuality

I recently listened to October Mourning: A Song for Matthew Shepard.  While I do not have any close LGBT friends that I am, I know quite a few.  I respect them immensely for what they go through on a daily basis.  I listened to this in honor of them and in memory of others who have fought their own battles.

Matthew Shepard, a gay college student, was murdered solely due to his sexuality by men who thought they were better than him because they were straight.  This book is a memorial to Shepard, his life, and his death. 

It is shamefully this book had to be written.  That being said, this book was beautifully written.  It’s poetic scheme gives it a different memorial feeling than what I anticipated.  It wasn’t just a normal historical text.  The different poems create an ebb and flow that adds character and freedom and life.

Freedom.  In theory, we are all free to live our lives, to make our choices.  Shepard was denied this freedom.  If one person isn’t free, then we still haven’t achieved freedom as our founding fathers envisioned.  This is depressing and disgusting.

I am free to choose who I love.  You are free to choose who you love.  Unless you plan on bring back arranged marriages to 100% of the American population, DEAL WITH IT.  Even then, you can’t force someone to love another, only to be tied to another.

Ignorance is not always bliss.  In this case, ignorance makes you a jackass.


October Mourning: A Song for Matthew Shepard by Leslea Newman
Narrator: Emily Beresford
Publisher: Brilliance Audio
Source: Audiobook Sync
Format: MP3 Audiobook
2 parts
1 hour, 19 minutes, 14 seconds





Sometimes, the bravest one is the one who stands up first

I just finished listening to Claudette Colvin: Twice Toward Justice by Phillip Hoose.  I’m NOT a history person.  Any one I know can tell you that.  History bores me even though I know it shouldn’t.  I listened to this audiobook knowing I was going to be bored because it’s history but I thought I should nonetheless for character development.  I’m pleasantly impressed.

While I was bored to an extent (I refer back to “history bores me”), I wasn’t as bored as I anticipated once I was able to listen to this for more than 20 minutes at a time.  As I listened, I could see Claudette Colvin evolving in my mind.  While I can’t say I know what she went through, I can say I found her story more interesting that most history. 

There was one fact, though, that stands out in my mind.  She had her own bus boycott before Rosa Parks.  Every child grows up hearing about Parks, but I’ve never heard of Colvin.  Maybe Colvin was the necessary push to get the political environment ready for Parks.  Maybe Parks is mentioned because of the closer political result.  Maybe I have no idea what I’m talking about.

But, in my mind, Colvin was the needed push.  I’m proud of myself for listening to a history lesson in my 30s.  In particular, I’m proud I listened to this history lesson of Ms. Claudette Colvin.  I’m proud of what Colvin accomplished, alone and with the help of others.  She was and is a true leader, a hero to many.  She acted when no one else would, and this led to positive change that has helped the world.

Claudette Colvin: Twice Toward Justice by Phillip Hoose
Narrator: Channie Waiters
Format: MP3 Audiobook
Publisher: Brillance Audio
Source: Audiobook Sync
4 parts
3 hours, 38 minutes, 11 seconds


All Our Yesterdays – I should have read YESTERDAY

I just finished listening to All Our Yesterdays by Cristin Terrill.






I don’t even know where to begin.

Since I was listening to it while I worked, it admittedly took a bit to get sucked in.  About a fourth of the way through, it started transitioning from “noise in the background” to “let me eavesdrop on this conversation”.  Halfway through, I was hooked, but could leave it for a break, the day, etc.  Three-fourths of the way through and I was not only disappointed to leave work, it was all I thought about until I got back to my computer at work so I could finish it.

James is a teenage genius who loves his studies/work.  Marina is in love with James.  Finn is the third musketeer Marina can’t stand but tolerates.  Finn and Marina bicker but leave you feeling as if there is more there.  Boy meets girl, girl loves boy, second boy causes trouble, the three amigos try to solve a murder which leads to more questions and discoveries, duplicate…literally DUPLICATE.  I don’t even know how else to describe this book without giving away important information you need to discover yourself.

This book has me super excited about the second book that is a continuation of the lives of Marina, James, and Finn, only I have to wait for it because it is scheduled to come out September 2014.  *SIGH*  Jerks, making me wait.  Talk about RUDE. 

This wait is going to be infuriating to say the least.  In the meantime, I think I might just try to find a version to read myself, just to see what else I can pick up on.  I’ve added it to my Goodreads list, as if there is any chance of me forgetting this one.  Sheesh.

This book is sensational.  Read it YESTERDAY.

Audio information:

All Our Yesterdays by Cristin Terrill
Narrator Meredith Mitchell
Format MP3 Audiobook
Publisher Tantor Media
Source Audiobook Sync
40 Chapters, sorted into 9 parts
9 hours, 25 minutes, 55 seconds long